Many people are shy. They are very good at what they do professionally, but they are not comfortable meeting a total stranger and chatting them up. This may seem unusual, given that being a financial advisor primarily involves sales, marketing and relationship management skills. But the common ground that starts the relationship is a need for financial services, not a desire for friendship.
When considering the opportunity to attend social events and meet wealthy people, too many people apply the wrong behavior with disastrous results. How many times have you heard about or even been trained to do the following?
You attend a party or gala. You meet a wealthy person. After chatting awhile you exchange cards. The next day you call and ask them to transfer their 401(k) rollover from their current brokerage firm.
When faced with the behavior above, people think that brokers are just interested in the next commission.

Objective

Your objective should be to meet wealthy people, learn about their interests and needs, and develop social relationships — possibly business relationships — at the appropriate time.
Your objective is not to meet wealthy people in social situations and call the next day and ask for business.
There are unwritten rules governing how social relationships are developed in our society, particularly among wealthy people. Here are several observations about the landscape.

It Takes Time

Developing quality relationships cannot be hurried. If you rush things or are friendly only on the surface, you may be considered superficial;

Building Trust

Quality relationships are built on trust. Experience shows this to be the case in business relationships, and it holds for social relationships too. A retired advertising executive from the Midwest explained: “Trust is earned very slowly and can be lost very quickly.”

Their Timetable

You have little or no control over when or whether a person does business. You can’t build trust or establish a relationship on a deadline. Sometimes it happens in a few weeks, other times it can be years, if ever.This discourages many people in the financial services business, because they are under pressure to achieve certain targets within a time period.

Partially Successful

Sometimes social relationships develop into business relationships, sometimes they don’t.

Large Payoffs

The benefits can be huge! In addition to business relationships, you will also acquire new friends, introductions and access to wealthy people and social circles.
The rewards are often surprising. A broker in eastern Pennsylvania played golf with a person he knew socially and hoped to develop into a business relationship. The friend understood the broker wanted to do business, and decided to throw him a bone. In this case, the bone was a $3,000,000 account relationship that represented a small fraction of his net worth. The “small account” in the eyes of the friend was a “substantial account” in the eyes of most people in the financial services business. Think about how much time and effort it would take to find and open a $3,000,000 relationship through conventional prospecting.

Three Steps

The process of “Meeting Wealthy People and Getting Them to Like You” involves three steps:

1. Meeting People

How do you meet someone for the first time?

2. Learning About their Interests

How do you develop common ground and establish your value?

3. Seeing Them Again

How do you initiate subsequent social meetings?
Notice none of these steps involvesasking for business. That comes when you have established a relationship and developed a level of trust.
Also, think about the other activities in life that involve meeting people, learning about their interests andhoping to see them again. Dating comes to mind. The strategies for social prospecting in the HNW market are similar to strategies in dating.

Meeting People — Before You Approach

Doing research to identify influential people ahead of time is important. However, it’s also important to observe them before you speak to them.

How are they dressed?

Is it a casual party atmosphere and they are wearing a blazer and tie? They may be a bit formal. Are other people in business dress while they are wearing jeans, an open-collar shirt and a blue jacket? They may be relaxed and not concerned about fitting in.

Who are they talking to?

Is this influential person talking to other influential people? Are they making the rounds and welcoming people in the role of host? If they are an attorney, are they talking in a small group with other attorneys?

How long do they spend in conversation?

Are they talking intently for ten or fifteen minutes? Are they laughing if someone is telling a story? Are they circulating and talking for two or three minutes with many different people?

What is their behavior?

Are they comfortable? Does it look like they want to be there? Does it look like they know lots of people or few people?
An advisor in Northern California uses the expression: “In the room versus in the mood.” The person mayhave to attend the event. They may be on the board, their spouse might be involved, but they don’t want to be there. You can usually tell. Unfortunately they will probably not be very friendly. Try to get them talking about what they would rather be doing.
It’s also possible that they are shy or don’t know anyone at the event. Often events draw from many different circles. This person may be a bank president from the next county who has sponsored an exhibition at the museum. They are being honored as the sponsor, but he or she doesn’t know anyone. You need to make them feel comfortable.Good tip: When you meet a sponsor at an event, thank them for what they have done. It usually brings a smile to their face and gets them talking.